Coaching Approach & Philosophy

Within counseling psychology, the person-centered / client-centered approaches have assisted countless individuals move toward a greater acceptance of their whole self, including the parts that we tend to deny.  The American founder of modern counseling, Carl Rogers, showed us that this becomes possible when clients learn to genuinely perceive themselves through unconditional, positive, self-regard.  Similarly, in coaching, this self-assessment results from an authentic relationship between the client and the coach, who becomes a support system for the client, unconditionally. Most of my professional training has been focused around this general theory and its application. More recently, through my own study, I have discovered that the “whole self” is much more than just our behaviors, our personality characteristics and other measurable traits. Much of my work is based on the idea that there is a “Truer Self” which can be experienced subjectively, even if it is difficult to objectively observe it from the outside-in.

As a coach, I also on principles and research from cognitive psychology and positive psychology.  Although these two are quite different in their general principles and emphasis, one similarity between these approaches is related to the emphasis on becoming more aware of our habitual thinking patterns and recurring, irrational narratives about ourselves and our circumstances.  By learning and employing specific mindfulness strategies, individuals begin to witness this frequently unproductive “self-talk,” not to make it stop [that’s impossible] but to change our relationship with it. This leads to a shift in the way we experience their daily lives.

Positive psychology focuses on what is right with people, not what is wrong with us.  As a coach, my goal is not to provide answers to my clients’ problems.  Instead, I facilitate the clients’ searching and finding of their own strengths and resources, so that the solutions to important life challenges develop through their own intuition and self-knowledge.  Clients are then accountable for completing the steps established during the coaching sessions, leading to the attainment of the goals that they had identified for themselves and enhanced well-being.  Through dialogue, reflection, and thoughtful exercises, clients will experience helpful insights, guiding them to discover what needs to occur, in order to obtain more satisfaction and meaning, in more of the things that they do. 

Our coaching relationship will be based on the idea that within all people, there is to be found the potential for continuous development.  This drive cannot be extinguished, as it always has been and will always be present. It can only become hidden temporarily, and other times, for long periods of our lives.  For many of us, it is common that this life-force becomes gradually buried, over decades of our own difficult experiences, self-doubts and social conditioning.  The coaching relationship assists clients in letting go of unnecessary clutter [regrets, grudges, anxieties, etc.], reigniting the possibility of reconnecting with our life drive, which is not gone, it is just waiting to be recognized again. Then, we begin to live out of that homebase and a more genuine part of ourselves.

Coaching is NOT Counseling

Early in my professional career, the goal was to help clients identify their sources of suffering and particular “causes” of their debilitating circumstances and difficult emotions. This often involved exploring the root of one’s “problems” as they relate to the experiences in one’s upbringing, previous relationships and often, traumatic experiences. Having been trained in the counseling field, I will always place great value on this type of analysis, diagnosis, therapy and self-discovery. However, the coach-client relationship is different. Although I am a professional counselor, my role in this relationship is coaching one.  By contrast, in a coaching session, since a client’s individual history and early experiences are indeed important, they may be shared in a very general sense, particularly if it relates to insights regarding a current goal or situation. If this happens, this is only explored very broadly as it applies to the current situation. If a client wishes to pursue a diagnosis or more therapeutic type of work, to help process repressed emotions, traumas, etc., I will gladly assist in providing the contact information for a professional counselor or any other type of clinician who is currently working in that role.

Overall, the coaching relationship focuses more precisely on helping clients clarify their life-purpose and explore what can be done to live more fully, from this point forward, particularly as they experience major life transitions. The older version of the word “coach,” as in the Old West, referred to a vehicle that would transport individuals to a different destination, of their own choice. Metaphorically, the personal coach assists in this transition, from wherever here is to wherever there will be. In summary, clients may choose to participate in both types of sessions, coaching and counseling, but should do so separately, with two different professionals.  One does not cancel out the other, as their aims are different.