On the American Psychological Association website (www.apa.org), we see mindfulness defined as the “awareness of one's internal states and surroundings.” It immediately follows by stating that “mindfulness can help people avoid destructive or automatic habits and responses by learning to observe their thoughts, emotions, and other present-moment experiences without judging or reacting to them.”

Another popular definition comes from renowned mindfulness leader and teacher, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, who defines it as the “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.”

APA’s elaboration in the first definition, seems to imply that we have the ability to learn ways to observe our own human experiences, both internal and external ones, so that we can then choose how to respond to them more rationally. In Kabat-Zinn’s description, we are reminded that this observation of our own thoughts, emotions and circumstances is on purpose. It is intentional. Both definitions are clear that this mindful presence is experienced without judgment.

This last part is particularly difficult for our minds to accomplish, because the primitive parts of our brains and our egos always require judgment, and they really have no other choice. Being able to determine whether something is good or bad, safe or dangerous, etc., is one of the most essential skills to possess for our physical survival, and what has kept us here for hundreds of thousands of years. The problem is that without an awareness of these automatic responses, these ancient and basic drives become the default setting for most of our life encounters, even in moments when it serves no realistic or necessary purpose, which is actually, most of the time. Because we have learned to live together, these mental energies typically do not show up in our behaviors, as most of us are good at suppressing them, but they sure show up in our repressed emotions and our never-ending, internal dialogue.

Meditation and many other mindfulness practices, as well as intentional conversations, move us toward recognizing our overused and usually unnecessary responses, so that we can live more presently and realistically. Over years or decades, our minds have been conditioned to always be doing something in response to something else. It is no surprise that most individuals find meditative and mindful practices so difficult, at first. Being mindful requires an acceptance of rather than a reaction to things as they are unfolding in front of us. When we live out of this type of presence, our brains will still effectively assure our survival in moments of absolute need. However, during the rest of our time during which we are not being threatened or challenged, the ego loses its authority and anxious compulsion to protect us from some imaginary adverse situation, which is seldom real, because it was just created in the mind. The more we practice being mindful during our daily lives, the more we continue to recognize how often we create our own anxiety, distress, anger and all of the negative energies that we strive to eliminate from our lives. Practicing mindfulness doesn’t make all of these go away, it changes our relationship with them, as we gradually learn to accept reality and let go of what is not real.